I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
