Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You smell like stripper and shame
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
