This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
