I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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