dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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