So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
