Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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