She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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