I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
