i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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