belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
