Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
