so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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