just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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