Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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