I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
