Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
