Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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