K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
