I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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