is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
