i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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