last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
