It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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