Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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