i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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