marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it because I queefed?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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