so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
