wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
