we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
