Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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