i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
