Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
