I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
