we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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