We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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