This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
