So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This baby is an asshole
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
