my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
