that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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