I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
