How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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