This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He felt like a one man threesome
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
