What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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