Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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