Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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