miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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