You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
