I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
