Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
